Forgiveness

Andy Andrews | June 11th, 2021

 

Forgiveness

Creating measurable results are accomplished by competing in a game your competition doesn’t know a game is being played

In creating the culture we want, nothing is more dangerous to that culture than anger and resentment
  • Forget anger management – think anger resolution
  • This pathway leads to forgiveness 
  • Have never been able to find an expert or book that says in order for someone to forgive another person, that person has to ask for it - everything says to just forgive
  • Forgiveness means more to the forgiver than the person receiving forgiveness
  • Something you can choose to do – something you control 

How many times have you began to fall asleep but your eyes pop open rethinking a convo you’ve had earlier in the day? 
  • Thinking about what you would/should and will do
  • Have you ever been driving with the fam and out of nowhere someone’s ask – is something wrong? Like you have been in a trance.  You realize you have been rethinking the same thing that was keeping you up at night. 
  • 99% of the time, people we are upset with are completely unaware that we even have a feeling about it.  They don’t even know they have offended us.  Since they are not going to ask for forgiveness, or may not know they need to, or know you are bothered by what has happened, why should you forgive them/

Forgiveness is a decision not an emotion
  • Our emotions follow our decisions. 
  • When we make the decision to forgive, our emotions will follow that 

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself
  • What about people who say? “So, they are just going to get away with it?”
  • By forgiving them, you no longer have to drag around the dead weight of the grudge
  • They are never going to be sorry or ask for forgiveness, it will only continue to drive your negative emotions - we are not in charge of their punishment

Forgiveness vs. Trust
  • Forgiveness is about you and letting go of the past
  • Trust is about their future
  • We can forgive someone who steals from us but no longer do business with them
  • Forgive someone who lies, but no longer believe what they say

How many times should we forgive? 7 times? 70 times? 
  • Forgive 7x70 times
  • What about when you forgive someone but forget and get emotional about days later?  Forgive again - over time, it will go away

One person you need to forgive so no one else will suffer
  • The one person is you - of all people that have disappointed you, the one person who disappointed you the most was likely yourself. 
  • All the hopes, dreams, and promises you have given up on will stack up

The process for dealing with a grudge is to forgive yourself and start over
  • A deal your about to make, go to the meeting, but don’t commit
  • Spouse asks did everything go well? Why not? I though you were all ready for this deal?
  • Yea, but there’s something I can’t put my finger on and keep looking. 
    • Just like a dog can sense fear in people, people can sense bitterness in people
    • we don’t do business with those people, we don’t marry them, we don’t maintain relationships with it
    • This will change your life - Your history will no longer control your destiny
    • This will free you from unproductive thoughts - Begin each day with a forgiving spirit